My Spiritual Journey: From Pain to Purpose

I think we are all born with spiritual gifts and abilities but like any skill, if we don’t practice it or have someone to teach us how to strengthen those gifts, they can fall away. As a child, I was always sensitive to the energies around me. It wasn’t until I learned what being an empath meant that it all made sense. I survived abuse and trauma, was given a whole list of mental health diagnoses and medications that simply numbed me or made my depression worse.

I experienced religious trauma that turned me away from organized religions, but I wanted to connect with a higher power, something bigger and safer than the humans in my life. I wanted to understand how God could let me as a child be abused. I wanted to make sense of my pain and to heal it.

I started my research at about 15 years old into world religions, philosophy, and new age spirituality as it was called. I loved watching Sylvia Browne on TV after school and something inside me lit up with a knowing that the spiritual world was real and truer than anything I’d been taught so far. Reading, Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch changed my life. I got my first tarot card deck when I was 18 and I read more intuitively than “by the book.”

As a young adult trying to fit in with my peers, I kept my interests and gifts secret. But as a Sagittarius rising, I didn’t have a filter and was often blunt about things I just knew without knowing how. Despite trying to hide who I was, I was still the “weird” one of the group. I threw myself into the world of psychology and logic and shut off my spiritual and emotional gifts, though I would still secretly read and watch all things spiritual—hello Ghost Whisperer and Touched by an Angel.

I focused on evidence-based practices as a therapist without realizing I still absorbed my client’s pain, to the point I had severe health issues and a near death experience from carrying emotions and energy that were not mine. I was a damn good therapist because I truly understood their pain and what they needed to hear to heal but it was physically killing me. That’s when I reached out to some spiritual teachers and readers to understand what was happening. Without these teachers and their guidance on how to manage my own gifts, protect my energy, and answer my soul’s call—which at this point was screaming at me to wake up to who I truly am, I don’t know that I’d still be here.

The covid pandemic was my greatest blessing, which I know is hard to say when it was so painful for most people to experience but I believe challenges are what create our strength. I was pushed out of my safety nest and had to spread my wings—open my own practice and embrace who I was spiritual and emotionally, not just mentally. As the world shut down and all my friends fell away, I was forced to go within. It was lonely but that motivated me to reach out to spirits and that’s when I learned how to be a medium. Was it always within me? Yes. But I needed someone to guide me in how to use my intuition and connect with my ancestors. I could be musically inclined to play the piano but if no one teaches me, I’ll never know how to play.

Most of my family died when I was young or before I was born so I had no way of knowing if the information I was getting was accurate, which was also nice to know I wasn’t being influenced by a memory. I was able to talk with my parents and verify things about their relatives which built my confidence that I wasn’t making it up. Especially since I don’t see or hear spirits, I just get a deep knowing and my own voice in my head saying things I wouldn’t think to say. It was hard to know what my own thoughts or their messages were. It took practice, as any skill does.

I actually learned how to access the Akashic records for mediumship, to speak with my loved ones. I had no interest in past lives and didn’t see their importance in our lives now. After all, I had enough shit to heal from in this life I didn’t want to know I was abused in the past too or have another reason to forgive my family members. It wasn’t until I started accessing my clients’ past lives that I saw how history repeats itself and by healing the past they could stop unhealthy patterns in this life and heal relationships. It was all connected.

Accessing the Akashic records was just the tip of the iceberg for my spiritual awakening, as it has led to doing parts work with my inner aspects like the inner child, ego, mental body, and emotional body. I had conversations with Masters and Teachers which included Gods, Goddesses, Archangels, and eventually my intergalactic families of Orion and Arcturius—which is still a bit sci-fi for my comprehension. Luckily, I grew up with a father who normalized aliens and made us watch every Star Trek episode. Again, everything is connected and sets the stage for future experiences.

In February of 2025, my aunt passed away and during her transition she came to me and showed me the dying process which I was able to verify with the famous medical psychic and medium Julie Ryan—her book on the 12 phases of transition is what I was shown and then my aunt took me deeper. She planted the seeds to what would become my greatest gift so far, transitional mediumship: helping the dying heal their emotional baggage that keeps them stuck and lingering so they can cross into the white light with peace and love. I’m a therapist and doing therapy with spirits is no different. It’s often their guilt, shame, trauma and regrets that keeps them stuck and I can help them release that just like I do for my fully alive clients.

During my time off work in that February, due to removing the physical manifestation of carrying other’s emotions in my sacral chakra, aka a partial hysterectomy, I had a month to do deep healing work. I was determined to be done with the physical health issues as a result of my emotions and poor boundaries. I came to realize it was also a result of denying who I was and staying in the spiritual closet for fear of rejection, judgement and being punished for using my voice—both in my childhood and in past lives. But by taking the time to go within, declaring I was ready to heal and embrace who I truly am, I experienced huge spiritual growth. I also learned to be careful what you ask for because as humans we don’t really know what it means to fully be ourselves.

In just two months’ time, I activated my light language, facilitated a multidimensional soul integration including bringing in my Lemurian self into this human body, experienced a timeline integration by calling back my fragmented soul aspects from this lifetime, healed ancestral trauma, completed soul contracts, activated a strain of my quantum DNA, and used my light language to open the white light portal in the astral field for souls to transition into the other side—which of course was a complete accident the first time as most spiritual practices are when you get out of your own way and just follow your intuition, your soul knows what its doing.

I was called to finally come out of the spiritual closet and start my spiritual business separate from my mental health practice and the limitations that can come with having a social work license and following a more medical model set forth by the system. Yes, there’s work arounds but it’s just easier to start a new business and have freedom to help people without the fear of an audit.

I can’t unlearn what I’ve known as a therapist so that will always be integrated in my spiritual work, process trauma at the soul level, release emotional baggage, heal unhealthy patterns no matter what lifetime they come from, and empower clients to connect to their inner teacher, their soul, which has all the answers they seek. I look forward to where my journey takes me next and helping people access their own gifts to see how powerful they truly are.

--April 19, 2025